Zombies Make Me Hungry

June 4, 2014

If this really is a matter of life and death, Danny thought to himself as he tried not to outrun Dylan, it's a good thing I carbo loaded at breakfast. After last night's round trip to LA, I could barely whack the alarm's off button. If people only knew how much energy it takes to maintain this superpower, Danny almost chuckled out loud. People? I wonder how Dylan would react if I took off right now? Danny decided to play it cool, as the cafeteria was just ahead.

"Dylan, you know how I hate flash mobs!" Danny cried. Before Dylan could respond, Danny took a closer look and realized that no one was singing. What initially looked like a clip from Michael Jackson's Thriller video turned out to be a real life zombie fest. A throng of students were unsuccessfully pushing tables and chairs towards the teacher's lounge, in a vain attempt to stop the flesh eaters from advancing.

"It's the teachers," Dylan almost shouted in Danny's ear. "I was just biting into my egg sandwich when I heard Vice Principal Gotshall scream. Coach Resnik was gnawing on her arm, blood spurting everywhere. Then they all started to turn. You should have been here, Danny. Blood and guts from the teacher's lounge, and kids running and slipping in puked up breakfasts here in the cafeteria. A bunch of us tried to barricade the lounge doors, but those teacher's were too fast. That's when I came to get you!"

Danny looked at his best friend. They'd been role playing for an apocalyptic moment like this for months. We never had a scenario for a breakout at school though, Danny scoffed. Doesn't matter; the boom should do the trick.

Breaking free from Dylan's stranglehold on his back, Danny took off. Faster and faster, Danny ran circles around the now-confused zombie pack. Almost positive of the effect his superpower would have on their mutated brains, he went all out.

BOOM.

Danny zoomed back to the spot where Dylan would have seen him last running. Dylan would assume that the boom and resulting blast would have stopped Danny from moving forward. Coming to a complete stop, Danny found himself, along with his classmates, dripping with the remains of his high school's administrative staff. It worked. Danny congratulated himself. The anomalous electrical structure of the zombie brain could not handle the sonic boom created when Danny exceeded the speed of sound.

"What was that?" Danny asked his dumbfounded friend with innocent incredulity. In the moments that followed, Danny could think of only one thing: pancakes.